Twist me on your spike, O mad worldMay 23, 2008 at 10:42 pm | Posted in Thoughts | 1 Comment
Tags: hug, rape, Tort
Well- the 21st of May was weird for me. It started out peacefully enough…
…was on the bus, minding my own business, dreaming as usual. The bus stopped at KL Central, the ‘most amazing public transport hub’ in Malaysia, and as I was about to get off, this guy bent down and rubbed my legs, near my ankles. That’s right. Rubbed. Wait- scrubbed might be a better word.I was so blur- still stuck in dreamland- that I couldn’t say a word. Wide-eyed, I stamped my foot repeatedly, and he finally picked up bunch of keys and held it up before me- as if that explained anything. And to top it off some lard bucket with perceptiveness and wits to match tapped me from behind and said something like “let others get off lah” in some language. I don’t even remember what. And so I got off.
Slowly regaining my senses, I checked to see if I still had all my stuff with me. All there. Walked all the way to college feeling violated. My legs were wobbly and tingly. Quickly plonked down in the library, and rubbed them again. Didn’t work. Went to wash myself off. Felt much better after that. I can’t imagine how they’d feel if I was wearing shorts (which I never do). Ergggh>< Whatever was that dingdong thinking? Leg raped… I think if that ever happens I won’t stomp. Just rearrange his face.
The second incident occurred during tort class. Was sandwiched between Bawanie and Jeanie. I was doing my best to concentrate. Ask anyone. No matter how diverted I appear to be (by people or my own thoughts), I still listen to the lecture. Even if it’s as mind-numbing as a pole dancing catfish. Somewhere near the end of class, the lecturer said “now the guy in the black shirt, sitting in the back, why don’t you come see me after class?” I happened to be stretching, so I figured that perhaps she thought I wasn’t paying attention. Didn’t think it was me at all, actually- just to be certain, I waited until the end, when almost everyone had cleared out- and saw her nod at me. Oh my.
Her explanation: “Every time I looked at you, you were giggling away. You’re a bad influence on others. I you want to come to my next class, you sit in the front row.” Har? Not wanting to create a scene, I just replied “Sorry, won’t happen again” and exited, although I was slightly annoyed. After all, it was just the three of us at the back- I’ll admit I can’t stand law, but I was paying more than enough attention. Bawanie isn’t either, but she got all her notes right. Jeanie was tired, and I was nice enough to copy down notes for her. Is this what I get for being such an attentive student? Wonderful.
Twas only when I got home and wandered around the house, with nothing to do, that something got my temper flaring. Giggling? I remembered one incident, when she was dictating- during a pause, I looked up, waiting for the flow of dull words to continue. Our eyes met for an instant. I happened to have a smile on my face. Put one and one together- Ah. So what’s wrong if I was in a good mood? Is that so wrong? Maybe she thinks that I couldn’t care a fig for what she was saying? Lady, I’m the one taking the exam. I do not want to fail. So even if I do hate law, I can’t help but care a little. So I can’t smile? Must future law practitioners wear a mask of plastic each time, in preparation for one day in court, as they look down at a completely hopeless nitwit, and condemn the poor fool to a eternal damnation without even a simple grin? Lawyers aren’t bad people. I’m nice enough to acknowledge that fact. It’s thinking like this that gives people the wrong perception- if that’s what she’s thinking. Admittedly, I was talking to my two companions now and then- but who pays attention to everything? Are we supposed to eat up everything she says in silence? My mind snapped back every time something big came along, and my mouth clamped shut. I filtered all the pointless crap out, getting only what was important. Isn’t that the proper method of learning?
We were sitting far back anyway. Who was I disturbing, I should have asked? The empty seats behind, where some people might have been listening intently to the lecture, had they not skipped class? The only time someone from the front took notice was when Wy Lu turned back and looked at me- I was smacking my knuckles together (was a tad cold
), and she just giggled. Disturbing anyone? Methinks’ not.
Another thing: if she was gonna pick someone out, why not those fellas whose phones rang out loud and clear with their wonderful pirated mp3 ringtones? I still remember someones phone blasted out with ‘please don’t stop the music’. I hate that song. Anyway why not pick on them, they who disrupt the entire class? Every time it happened the whole class stopped, turned, and searched for the culprit. As for her, she either froze or pretended nothing happened, and continued to write on the board, utterly impotent.
Following a twisted stream, my mind hit on another theory. Perhaps she was pissed that she had to teach us brats late at night, when she could bu cuddling up to her husband at home? I think he’d rather stay out: “Wifey dear, need to entertain a big client, be back late alright?” And another theory, much more realistic: Was she just using me as a scapegoat, to showcase her potential to humiliate and control any ‘troublemaker’, being too scared to tackle those who are the real disturbances? Well well well. The viper is lade bare for all to see. All note, however, she is fangless, and the holes-where-her-fangs-should-be drip expired spinach soup, not venom.
I honestly didn’t care at first, thinking that she’s just someone I’m never gonna meet again. I’m not going to continue in this college, anyway. But I think my theories are all too right… I don’t stay angry at people for long. My temper is as permanent as a diabetic wingless butterfly. Unluckily for her, she has gotten herself on my grudge list. This doesn’t mean I hate her- I just won’t like her. I won’t acknowledge her as an equal human being- her position in my table of affections will be lower than those who dare smoke near me. And that is low, very low.
Not everything was twisted and gloomy, though. I’m no human electromagnet for misfortune.
Two hugs did the job of maintaining my cheer well enough. Now if you’re reading this (the hugged one), don’t go and say I stole them. My ears picked up all the whispers around me and I had concluded, in my favour, naturally, that you were quite in need of my affection and warmth to allay your jealousy, though for everyone’s mental health I won’t reveal the reasons here. Everyone else can go and fantasize. So there.