Crucification of a Long-ago Dream

June 12, 2008 at 7:28 pm | Posted in Thoughts | Leave a comment

There was once a youth, who, upon finding himself of anything else to do, pondered on the meaning of life, or at least, what it seemed like to him. It was a cold day, and it had been raining, or so he remembers it. He cannot recall where he was at the time, but he thinks it most likely that he was alone, by himself, not out of self-imposed solitude, but just that he happened to be alone, and all around him was conducive for a bout of philosophizing. This is what he thought, at the time, when he was less chained to the harshness of reality:

“Life… should be lived as one who takes a few light, feathery skips, as a leaf floats over a pool of water; looking up, sees the vast blue sky above- mirthfully, spins back to see what lies behind; and slowly falls back, but the body connects not with the cold, hard ground- instead he falls into a never ending cloud of comfort, and quietly sleeps unseen…”

How juvenile, though it be enchanting. Now he sees it more as a tightrope walk between distant towers- the rope may vary in length or thickness, the winds calm or tumultuous, but there is always the brief calm at the end, when he reaches the small platform. Perhaps he hopes for a ladder to take him down to safety, but there’s only another rope, leading to yet another platform, and yet another, and another…

And this is how it seems to be, as of now. Moving from one short-term goal to another, the elation of success blotted out by the thought that yet another phase of my life has ended, and I have to move on yet again- a short escape from reality looms ahead, and I’m thankful for it, but before that comes another task I may need to see through. How ironic it is that it first started out as a wonderful plan- yet that’s how it is. We move on, say our farewells, and vanish for the time being. The joy of it all. How odious. The writing here may seem disjointed, but so am I right now. And with that, I bid thee adieu till next.

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