Her silhouette limned in timeless purple; fall now into my lustful embraceNovember 5, 2008 at 3:38 am | Posted in Thoughts | Leave a comment
Tags: Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Royalty
This photo is really old. Hah, the Black Eyed Peas don’t even consistently exist as a band anymore. The people in this photo, however, are quite alive. If you look closely you’ll see something rather amusing- or disgusting, if you’re one of those BEP fanatics who in all likelihood will eventually use “Where is the Love” as their wedding anthem… Anyway, it was made by an old friend of mine from school. She’s currently studying dentistry aboard an Indian elephant, I think. Try and look for me. It shouldn’t be too hard, since my name’s already there and I’m just too lazy to remove the words…
I wonder why she cast me as Fergie. Never mind that- on to today’s topic. I’ve been thinking (A few seconds every day) about what sort of lifestyle would really suit me, and have finally (What a lie. I change my opinion on this after every dinner) decided that I would have been best off being born a princess of a Holy Empire with a semi-matriarchal, fanatically loyal yet surprisingly mentally advanced society who don’t rely on the Monarchy for anything but extra flavour to their lives.
I don’t like work. Who doesn’t (Forget about workaholics)? I couldn’t think of anything worth studying, and so ended up in Law, which thankfully isn’t as dull as watching mushrooms grow, but definitely duller than watching mushrooms copulate- HOLD IT. You see? This is what law does to you. It’s not that boring, but it’s boring enough to make your mind fly off into it’s darker recesses.
What I do enjoy is fiddling with whatever catches my interest at the time. One morning I might be captivated by the presence of the moon at 7am and ponder for hours why it’s still floating above me, before breaking for lunch, and subsequently move on to a criticism of terrestrial radio stations’ inadequate and programs, before conceiving an epic ode to my darling woes.
You see one of the problems I have with my current situation? It’s time. Nothing surprising, as there was some scientific study that said that youth of this age are challenged mainly by the pressures of time or something like that. This is my solution. Why elevate myself to royalty? Because their responsibilities, in this era at least, are considerably limited: Smile at the people. Wish them a happy New Year. Don’t say anything stupid on trips overseas. That’s about it. Royalty doesn’t have to worry about time. People wait for royalty. Think about it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a world famous actor, trillionaire, drug dealer or dictator. They’re all consumed with meeting with time. Be there by 1300 hours. Sign a book deal tomorrow. Campaigning for votes 24/7. Royalty just sits in it’s lovely white garden chair and sips chamomile tea while wondering whose time to waste next.
Before I go any further, there’s something I have to clarify. Some among you might be thinking: “Hold on, wouldn’t a tramp have all the freedom he wants? He has no obligations. Why not be a tramp instead?” Simple. Tramps certainly don’t have many obligations. But they still have to worry about where to find food. Where to sleep for the night. Royalty doesn’t have to worry about that, and thus has the freedom to fiddle around, to innovate, and whatnot. Chaos effect simplified- ignore the famous butterfly=thunderstorm theory. A tramp would perhaps, generate some frowns amongst the residents of the housing estate he has chosen to park himself in, but a royal personage, provided he/she possesses sufficient creativity, could make the whole world wince.
So, you ask, why a princess? Princesses have less obligations then their male counterparts. No need to worry about affairs of state. Leave all that claptrap to your brothers dear or daddy dearest, and let’s go horse-riding in the Royal forest. The only thing you’d have to do is marry someone someday, and you normally can’t decide who, which is a pain. Although that would be avoided in a semi-matriarchal society as previously mentioned. The problem is that you can’t really get rid of male chauvinism no matter what society you’re in. Wait, is it that big a problem? Not really, actually. Just give me the right to do whatever I want with my life, while you power-crazy males can have your Royal Prerogatives and all that lovely nonsense. I’ll choose my pet hobbies over gender any time.
I think I’ll end here. It’s 3.30am and I’m too tired to go on. Now there’s one thing you can’t run from no matter who you are.