Press Conference: On unreliable sources, and what to expectApril 10, 2009 at 7:32 pm | Posted in Thoughts | 2 Comments
So I was invited to try out this quiz called “Are you a smarty, a beauty, or both“, and here’s the results. Apparently I am Drop Dead Gorgious (sic) and Smart. I still can’t decide whether the spelling error is a mistake on their part, an underhanded jab at their grossly mistaken assessment of my intelligence, or that they were so stunned by my aforementioned good looks that they just made an honest mistake. Hmm. I think I’ll go with the third possibility.
Which probably says quite a bit about my ego. Let’s negate that then, shall we, to cast myself in a more favourable light (So says the usually dormant PR expert in my head): “Oh, I knew that already“, I tell the horde of imaginary reporters camped outside my front door, “But I’m still just human, after all. Everyone has that one day when you just look like a total frump- I just happen to like myself a lot, and it shows, I suppose. Basic psychology, everyone. You should try it too- hmm?”
One of the eagle-eyed scandal picking recession-threatened lot pointed out something to me that I hadn’t noticed before. Based on the result of the quiz, I’d grown a nice pair of boobs. Whatever happened to my Delicious Flat Chest (DFC)? “Crud”, I muttered under my breath. Looks like the quiz I was thrown was meant for the ladies. Sneaky, sneaky. I don’t want these boobs, take them back! The girl who sent me the quiz laughed, “hahahah you had boopssss all way long levinnnn…. nice bra! haha” Erm. Retorted I, “My size is AAA- I don’t need those things.” And I’m proud of it.
That, however, is something that I will have to maintain over the years. I am no stranger to the fact that no matter how high one’s metabolism rate is, the thing will eventually fall in due time, and that the results of such negligence are catastrophic. Think beer belly, flabby arms, double chin… the possibility of all that seems rather remote, but it never hurt to be safe than sorry. To that end, my PR expert announces, “Levin shall take care to skip meals when he is out for classes, eating only when delusions set in; he shall sleep as much as possible; and reluctantly exercise for sufficiently long periods of time whenever he gets paranoid about this issue.” Oh, look at the time- I’m sorry, but this conference will have to end here- my life of lucullan (Or so I delude myself) sloth awaits. Till another day, then.