Death by Honey

May 19, 2009 at 2:54 pm | Posted in Thoughts | 5 Comments
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Epiphany: The best thoughts at the oddest possible moment, like:

“The best way to kill someone: drown him/her in a giant pot of boiling honey. Provide goggles for best effect, and pot should be transparent.”

…This post to be dissected and filled up in due time.

…Such random thoughts flitted through my mind as I went through my first paper on the 13th of May, at the most cruel time of 9 in the morning. It’s worth mentioning that we were also required to be there at least 20 minutes before the paper was to start, for them to spew out the examination rules. And according to the examination docket from London, the paper is actually supposed to start at 10. Bah.

Well, never mind that. I’d been reading like mad for the past few days, drumming case after case into my miserable (from all the studying) mind. But, I thought, this should be doable. I’ll get through alright. I did get through the paper. But it was madness, and I came out with a horrible feeling in my gut. I might actually fail this paper. Went home and crash-landed on my bed.

The next paper was on the 15th, Public Law, the subject I disliked the least, for it’s political leanings. However, the previous two days spent on reading up on it had left me drained and down- I couldn’t believe I’d ever looked kindly on the subject when the raw material was just so boring. I forced myself to read everything I had, and ended up wondering whether I’d made a horrible mistake by signing up for a law degree (Something that’s occurred to me many times in the past). The paper was- I don’t know, good or bad? More of the small topics (which I wasn’t very familiar with) and less of the major ones- it didn’t help that I intentionally went and did what was widely considered to be the hardest question in the bunch in a fit of desperation and perhaps temporary insanity… but never mind.

Next up, Common Law Reasoning and Institutions on the 19th. Why the long name? Don’t ask me. This one was considerably better than the first two, and definitely put a spring into my step. I wasn’t so down anymore, although thoughts of committing an irretractable mistake still dogged my mind…

And the final paper on the 22th, Elements of the Law of Contract. Another one with a long-winded name. This one wasn’t too bad either- having been done during A-levels, with much of the key elements remaining the same. My answers were short, though, about one page per question. I’ll never understand how others can write 2 to 4 booklets in total. I left about 5 minutes before the final ten minutes when no-one is permitted to leave, stopping for a chat with other early-leavers.

Law. Asian parents seem to have a predilection for sending their offspring towards it (Mine exempted, as I really fell into law, being unable to think of anything else to do). It’s just viewed as this glamorous, money-making occupation. But learning it is a torture. A few years back I remember telling a friends mom that I’d be doing law, and she told me ‘it’s gonna be hard’ (She’s a lawyer herself). If I ever see her again I’d like to correct her: Law isn’t hard at all. In fact, it’s frighteningly easy once you see the pattern. But it’s horribly boring, so boring that if you ever allow the boredom to seep through your psyche, it eats you up from the inside like a flesh eating beetle. 

Some entertainment for all the tortured law students- a correlation chart from genzu, featuring some of the lecturers from London. Sadists, all of them. And here’s your proof…

M represents Wayne Morrison, director of the London law program. Met him one too many times.
G represents Adam Gearey, one of the examiners and London lecturers. Never met him before. 
C, bottom right, represents Simon Coldham, Criminal law lecturer. Just once- think Gordon Brown in Blair’s body.
C, center, represents Curtiz Cotterrell, Public Law lecturer. Just once- mentioned in a previous post, I think.
B represents Hilaire Barnett, Public Law textbook author. To this day I have no idea whether it’s a he or she.

5 Comments »

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  1. @A20: Hmmm, since the density of honey is measurably higher than that of the average human body (similar to water), the person won’t sink or drown too easily. He or she would simply be painfully cooked to death! Not pretty at all.

    • Point taken. Maybe, ah, yes, put the victim in first, and then pour in the honey…

  2. What a sweet death!

    I know how you feel….During my Final Exams i felt like crap all the time and always wondered if i failed.Everything went well in the end though

    • Haha, it is tastier than most deaths, I suppose:)
      Good to hear you got through alright. Hope I can say the same for myself>,<

  3. ahahahahaha. Hilaire Barnett is a lady. wtf woi! hahahahaha!


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